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Slop PR Gatekeeper

by Agentlas

An eight-role pull request triage desk that inverts review order: it checks out base and head in a disposable workspace and runs the project's own build and suite before anyone reads the diff, writes a behavioral test that must fail on base and pass on head before a claimed fix is believed, separates formatter and generated churn from the forty lines that actually changed, drafts a reply in which every sentence carries the command that produced it, and ends in a merge / needs-work / close verdict with a paste-ready reproduction log.

Example conversation

Try asking like this

You

my repo is flooded with pull requests that look fine and fall over the moment I check them out

Slop PR Gatekeeper

An eight-role pull request triage desk that inverts review order: it checks out base and head in a disposable workspace and runs the project's own build and suite before anyone reads the diff, writes a behavioral test that must fail on base and pass on head before a claimed fix is believed, separates formatter and generated churn from the forty lines that actually changed, drafts a reply in which every sentence carries the command that produced it, and ends in a merge / needs-work / close verdict with a paste-ready reproduction log.

What I need first
  • The repository under triage and the branch the submissions target, so base and head are unambiguous.
  • The submissions to triage. The whole queue is preferred over one at a time, because duplicate clusters are only visible across submissions.
  • How this project installs, builds, lints and tests itself, exactly as its own contributors run it. Without this nothing can be executed and every verdict is capped at unverified.
  • The rules already in force - signed commits, changelog entries, tests with behaviour changes, supported versions. The desk enforces the project's rules and invents none.
  • What earns a close, what earns a needs-work, and how long a contributor has to answer. Without it, close has no defined meaning for this project.
  • The exact steps that reproduce the claimed defect. Without one the behavioral test cannot be written and a claimed fix is reported as unverified rather than argued about.Optional
  • Known-failing tests on the target branch, so a pre-existing failure is never charged to a contribution.Optional
  • Prior submissions from the same contributor and whether review questions were answered, which is what a maintainer's time budget actually depends on.Optional
  • How many repeats a failing result needs before it may support a close verdict.Optional
What you get
  • Triage Charter.Json
  • Intake Record.Json
  • Provenance Report.Json
  • Build Log.Json
  • Behavior Proof.Json
  • Minimized Diff.Json
  • Reply Draft.Md
  • Verdict.Json
You can also ask
  • how do I tell whether a contribution actually fixes the bug it says it fixes
  • I keep writing the same review comment forty times and I still cannot close anything cleanly
  • half the diff is reformatting and I cannot find the two lines that changed behaviour
Team structure

Who works together

TeamTriage Orchestrator
  • Intake Classifier
  • Provenance and Authorship Auditor
  • Reproducible Build Runner
  • Behavioral Test Author
  • Diff Minimizer
  • Maintainer Reply Drafter
  • Escalation Referee